How to Use The Princess Bride as a Relationship Guide

Ethan Nichtern was 9 when The Princess Bride strike a large shade 30 years ago. He saw a film behind afterwards since of a family connection—Nichtern’s father was best friends with actor Christopher Guest, aka Count Rugen, aka a Six-Fingered Man.

Though it did feeble during a box office, a Rob Reiner film has left on to quotable cult classical status. And for Nichtern, a clergyman in a Shambhala Buddhist tradition, it became a lifelong passion, and a basement for his new book, The Dharma of The Princess Bride: What a Coolest Fairy Tale of Our Time Can Teach Us About Buddhism and Relationships.


Nichtern says he’s had a lot of people tell him they have no thought how to be in relationships, and demeanour to him as yet his Buddhist studies meant he knows how to do them well. (His final book, The Road Home, published in 2015, focused on a contemporary overview of a Buddhist path.) What he hoped to do with this book is not usually be pure about his life, memoir-style, and give it a tangible informative account by a film, though also “un-code this idea that there’s a kind of imagination or mastery, when, really, we consider a people who are good during this only are peaceful to practice.”

“I don’t disagree that it’s a Buddhist movie,” adds Nichtern, “but one of a things that we consider is unequivocally Buddhist about it is it’s a deconstruction of a kind of clichéd genre, a fairytale fantasy. And so it’s undercutting, it’s poking fun during that in flattering many each approach it can, though it also totally works as a fairytale … Most deconstructions have a many some-more asocial atmosphere to them, many some-more boring or negative, like that all we believed is kind of myth, there is no good guy, et cetera. But this is a deconstruction that unequivocally creates we consider of loyal love.”

“I would disagree that The Princess Bride is an instance of an confident deconstruction and that that’s what Buddhism is,” he adds. “It’s a deconstruction of a arrange of set account though that leads we towards larger tolerance or care and, in this case, it’s a deconstructive that says loyal adore is a indicate of everything.”


In light of this, Nichtern offers ways to urge all of a critical relations in a lives by his book.

As You Wish — Start with Yourself

“The owner of my tradition […] pronounced a purpose of imagining is to make friends with yourself,” says Nichtern. “I updated that for a Facebook epoch in The Road Home and pronounced imagining is about usurpation your possess crony request. It means you’re indeed spending time with yourself.”

Nichtern explains that if we don’t have a routine of creation friends with a possess mind with some silence (such as imagining or other awareness practices), we are always going to be entering relations defining a self-image formed on what we consider other people consider about us.

Finding Your Inner Fezzik — Focus on Friendship

Nichtern is prejudiced to a impression of Fezzik (played by André a Giant), since he describes him as “an ideal bodhisattva, that is an impossibly merciful chairman in a Buddhist tradition.” Fezzik via a film is only there to help, as a amatory friend. But a other loyalty member that Nichtern says is critical in The Princess Bride comes along with a Dread Pirate Roberts. Viewers consider when he gets inept that this will play out as a “kind of libertarian Batman account where a sole favourite has to animate himself and win on his own, though he’s indeed totally incapacitated and has to rest on his dumb friends.”


Self-reliance and self-awareness are great, Nichtern says, though one tip he gives per building a forms of friendships seen in The Princess Bride is to viewpoint time with friends as a practice. “I consider a lot of times, we viewpoint time with friends as a insignificant time,” he says. Instead, we should viewpoint it as a same significance of any kind of devout or yogic use that’s assisting we build a clarity of trust and inspiration.

Love and “Mahwage” — Don’t Forget Romance

When enterprise gets into a relationship, pulling it into intrigue status, Nichtern says one tip is to commend that while enterprise can lead to all kinds of fixations (control, grasping, addictive behaviors), it is an component that allows us to see over a possess perspective.

“If we’re going to enter a locus of intrigue or sexuality or partnership, [we need] to unequivocally make friends with enterprise and not vilify it, to provide enterprise like a high-maintenance plant,” Nichtern explains. “So, it is a friend, though it’s a crony we need to be clever with and wakeful of.”


As he writes in his book, “Anyone who has ever gotten their Buttercup […] knows that a Buttercup we pursue is never a Buttercup we finish adult with, since your indicate of anxiety ceaselessly shifts as we dance with desire.”

‘Fred Savage Is a Jerk and we Am Fred Savage’ — Focus on Family

Nichtern tells us, “I unequivocally adore this quote by Chögyam Trungpa: ‘It’s probable we could be cordial everywhere, solely around your family.’”


Nichten thinks that The Princess Bride’s story delivery (in other words, a grandfather reading this story to his grandson) shows how we can rise thankfulness for a life story as we accept it and rise thankfulness for a origin before we try to get into a some-more unpleasant places, “’cause chances are there’s gonna be a satisfactory volume of unpleasant places.”

“The fulfilment that family is a many important, and mostly a hardest, could really, to use a maybe stale tenure these days, trigger reactions that are shockingly strong.”

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Posted by on Sep 15 2017. Filed under Gadgets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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